there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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