no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
