1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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