Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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