maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize