Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize