Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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