he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
