Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
