This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
