i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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