my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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