apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
