respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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