Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
