I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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