My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
