Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
