So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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