So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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