hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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