I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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