writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
