I love black thongs
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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