So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
