next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
