I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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