i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
