Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
