Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
