Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
