I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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