No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
