her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think i got beer on your cat.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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