lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
