I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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