She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
