WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
