If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
