I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
