I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
