Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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