C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
