You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
