I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
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No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
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what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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