I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
