Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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