Tell her she can't have a vagina
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's blow job season.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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