fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
