Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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