Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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