I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
