My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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