So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You are the jesus of drinking
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize