Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize