we're blogging at a bar
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
