I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So vagazzling was a success
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
