I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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