So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
