Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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